15 Things You Don't Owe Anyone At All (Even Though You Think You Do)

Many choices we make in life—ranging from what we do, to how we conduct ourselves, and who we interact with—are subject to prying questions and commentary from those around us. Family members, friends, and even total strangers, it often seems like everyone has an opinion on the things we do, no matter how small or insignificant those things might seem to us.

Sometimes people go so far as to ask you to explain yourself for the decisions or choices you make in your own life. You might feel obliged to respond, but some things are really no one else’s business and you don’t owe anyone an explanation at all for the following 15 things— even though you think you do.

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.

Whether you are cohabiting with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, crashing in different motel rooms across the country, or living with your parents for a while when you are past your twenties, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for who you live with and why if you don’t want to. If you are fully aware of your living situation, then it means you have your own reasons for being in that situation that are nobody else’s business.

2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.

You have your own ideas about the things that would make you and your loved ones truly comfortable and happy, which is your main priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams and aspirations, your core priorities will be different from the next person’s. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what you determine is your core priority in life. That is your personal business not other people’s business.

3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.

If you don’t regret your actions, still think someone is wrong about something or don’t care much for their forgiveness, you don’t have to apologize. Many people are too quick to offer apologies and try to mend wounds that are not yet ready to be mended, which only serves to aggravate the wound and bring more problems. You really don’t have to apologize if you are not sorry or your side of the story hasn’t been heard.

4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.

You might worry that you will come across as “rude,” “anti-social” or “aloof” when you cancel plans or other obligations because you need some time alone to reboot, unwind or just enjoy a good book by yourself. However, spending time alone is a completely normal, natural and necessary practice that more people should adopt. Take your alone time confidently because you don’t owe anybody an explanation for it.

5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.

Just because someone shares their personal beliefs passionately doesn’t mean you have to sit there and nod in approval to everything they say. If you don’t share in their beliefs, it is unfair to yourself and to the other person to suppress your own thoughts and feelings and pretend you agree with them. It’s okay and better to disagree with them gracefully instead of bottling up your disapproval and frustrations.

6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.

You have a right to say no whenever there is no compelling reason to say yes. In fact, the most successful people in the world are those who have mastered the art of saying no to everything that is not a priority. Acknowledge other people’s kindness and be grateful for it, but don’t be afraid to politely decline anything that takes your focus away from your core goals and priorities. That’s how to get ahead.

7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.

You might be slender, plump, tall, short, pretty, plain or whatever, but you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone for why you look how you do. Your physical appearance is your own business and you are obligated only to yourself. Physical appearance shouldn’t determine your self-worth.

8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.

There are certain foods that you just don’t like at all for different reasons, including taste preference and health issues. You don’t have to explain to anyone at all why you prefer certain foods. Your food preference is a matter that is best left to you. If anyone pesters you about why you are eating (or not eating) certain foods, shrug it off and just say you feel better eating (or not eating) those foods.

9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.

As long as it happens with another consenting adult, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for where, when and how you conduct your sex life. You can wait for marriage, try one-night stands or experiment with same sex encounters to your heart’s pleasure and still not have to explain your sexual preferences to anybody.

10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.

Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and “having a life.” The decision is not always easy and you might end up choosing work, not because you don’t care about your family or social life, but because you are working on something that will give you security in the future. Either way, you don’t owe others an explanation for choosing a career over your personal life (or vice versa) as long as you are confident about what you are doing and why you are doing it.

11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, that is your own personal choice. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you are what you are and believe what you believe. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, that is their personal dogma—not yours.

12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.

Whether you are single by design or by default that is nobody’s business. Being single is not a personality disorder. You are free to be in a relationship or not. Besides, you are far more than your relationship status and singlehood is just one of those social labels no one should really care about.

13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.

Someone might be nice, good looking and you may even be a little interested, but you don’t owe them a date just because they ask. If you feel deep down you don’t want to go on that date, then don’t. You may offer a reason for declining, but keep it brief and stick to your decision.

14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.

Whether or not you choose to get married and have kids or stay unmarried and be childfree, that is your own personal decision. Even your mom who is dying for grandchildren should understand that marriage is a personal decision and not suited for everyone. She should respect your decision about it no matter how hard it is to swallow.

15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.

Sometimes people make inappropriate commentary about your romantic relationship(s), which is really none of their business. You might overhear comments like you are not the “perfect couple” or you should find someone else. However, you are not answerable to anyone but yourself for your relationship choices. Live your life and never, ever leave or stay in a relationship just because someone else says you have to. Make your own mistakes if you must, but learn from them always.

Read more at http://www.the-open-mind.com/15-thithink-you-do/#Xs5TMtd1Puh1l88f.99

The Sandoval Boys (1st Generation)

So lets see..... There's

Ray-D2009, Virgil-D2012, Sandy-D2012 (Alfonso), Arthur (Arseno) and Fillie (Jose).

 

Ray AKA Uncle Ray

 

Virgil AKA Uncle Virgil

 Granny and her boys

Sandy (Alfonso) AKA Grandpa

My loving and timid grandfather, Sandy. I am really not sure how to begin with this one. I grew up barely knowing my Grandfather, My fathers, father. When I was a child growing up in Florida I do remember when he came to visit us with his mother, my Great Grandmother. His youngest daughter Sandra and her daughter Jordan came also. If it weren't for pictures I am pretty sure that I would have no memories of this even in my life. I remember my Granny making us Tortilla's and sugar cookies, every child's dream. As I grew older the dreams of one day seeing my father and grandfather grew closer. Shortly after turning 18 I embarked on a journey to Price, Utah to see my family. It was like time had stood still. Seeing my father and my grandpa fulfilled all of my dreams. Even though my visit there would be short, I knew that I would eventually return one day.

That day came in 2008 when I had briefly move to Roy, UT. I once again traveled to Price and had a nice visit. It was mainly a quiet one. For those who knew my grandfather and my father, knew that they were men on very few words. I eventually was attached to orders from the Army and moved to Fort Hood, Texas. Just when I thought I was getting to make up for lost time I was being sent 1300 miles away. All I had now was a very small amount of memories of my father and grandfather. Id often wonder when would we cross paths again. When would I get to sit and hear war stories and stories of this huge family I had. A family that no matter what, would always be there for me regardless if they knew me or not. We all shared the same blood, so I knew that one day our shared blood would bring us together, it was just a matter of when.

Well that day finally came. It came in the early morning hours of August 8, 2010 and in the form of a phone call. A call that still gives me nightmares and that proves my theory that time can and does stand still. The only words I remember was, Mechelle your father is dead. I quickly hung up the phone and called a more reliable source, my Uncle Danny. It was true, my father was gone. I made some phone calls, went to the mall to buy a dress and booked the next flight out of Austin, Texas and had shortly arrive at the Salt Lake City Airport. I was greeted by my Aunt Uilanie and a cousin I never even knew I had. Cousin Eddie. WOW, is he a character. He was like a grown male version of me. After waiting in the airport to greet my brother who was also flying in we got the call that he missed his flight. Again. Two years prior when my Grandmother passed my brother missed his flight. I think that I am starting to see a pattern here. Six hours later my brother was here. It was a bitter sweet moment. We hadn't seen each other in two years since my Grandma Hazel passed. We packed up all of our stuff in our cousin Eddies truck and ventured off to Price, Utah. Our sister would meet us the next evening for she and her family was driving all the way from Northern California.

 

Arthur (Arseno) AKA Uncle Arthur



A bid farewell to my father

Before my father died, he said the worst thing about growing old was that other men stop seeing you as dangerous. I’ve always remembered that – how being dangerous was sacred, a badge of honor. You live your life by a code, an ethos. Every man does. It’s your shoreline. It’s what guides you home, and trust me, you’re always trying to get home. My father was a reader – Churchill, of course, but also Faulkner and books about Tecumseh. He loved artists who painted people with bodies that looked like boxes. I’d give him hell about that. He'd just say you gotta look harder. “Look harder,” my father would say. I always knew he wasn’t just talking about those boxy abstract paintings. There’s threats everywhere in a world that’s draped in camouflage. My father’s grandfather gave up his life flying a B-24 in World War 2. He kept the Liberator aloft just long enough for everyone to jump and then he went down with the plane. That’s the blood coursing in my veins…
My father was a good man. Growing up without him was hard. It hurt. l felt alone, out to sea with no shore in sight. l wonder “Why me?” “Why him?” I have to remember I have warrior’s blood in my veins. The code that made my father who he was is the same code that’ll make me a woman he would admire, respect. I put my pain in a box. Lock it down. Like those people in the paintings my father liked, we are people made up of boxes: chambers of loss, triumph, of hurt and hope and love. No one is stronger or more dangerous than a man who can harness his emotions, his past. Use it as fuel, as ammunition, as ink to write the most important letter of your life. Before my father died he asked me to give you this poem by Tecumseh. I told him I’d fold it into a paper airplane, and in a way I guess that’s what I’m doing – sailing it from him to you.



So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion
Respect others in their view
And demand that they respect yours
Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life
Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people
Abuse no one and nothing
When it comes your time to die
Be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death
So that when their time comes
They weep and pray for a little more time
To live their lives over again in a different way
Sing your death song
And die like a hero going home